If You're Gone
by BluEyes
Summary: Chandler left...and now he's coming home(that's a horrible summary!)...*Last Chapter now up*(no tissues needed, hehe)
1. If You're Gone

If You're Gone

Ever have one of those days where you just repeatedly humiliate yourself? Like you think that what just happened has to be the most embarrassing thing that could possibly happen and then you turn around and fall flat on your face so it just adds to it? Yeah, happened today. So anywho, enough of my boring life, here's the fic. It's kinda confusing, but don't give up on me now, the next chapter will explain stuff. So please read and review, kay? Kay

Chandler took a deep breath, looking around the now empty apartment. The apartment where so much had happened. The apartment which held so many memories.

And he was leaving.

He'd loved her, and that was why he couldn't stay there. Staying there, in that apartment, in that city was just giving him false hope. He just couldn't move on if he stayed there, and he was tired of living in the past.

Chandler sighed, picking up his last bag from the ground. "Ready to go, Steph?" he asked, holding his hand out to her, and she just nodded, "Then let's get outta here."

~*~

Phoebe laughed, picking up her glass and tapping it with a spoon as she cleared her throat, "Okay. First I'd just like to say congratulations to you guys, you're **finally** engaged, something some of us were starting to question if was ever going to happen," she paused and grinned to show that she was only kidding, "and second, I'd like to say that I would make an awesome maid of honor."

~*~

"I'm sorry, sir," she smiled, apologetically at him, "but this flight has been delayed two hours."

"Two hours?" Chandler asked, after finally getting to the airport. Traffic had been tied up and they'd barely made it there by the time their flight was supposed to take off.

"Yes, there's been some pretty bad storms all across the east coast and it's delaying a lot of the flights."

Chandler sighed, running his hand through his hair, "Thanks anyway," he mumbled.

~*~

Joey grinned and stood up, "My turn now. First of all, congratulations! I love both of you, and, by the way, would also make an awesome best man, but I am **so** happy for both of you, you really deserve this. I really don't know what else to say, but that I can only hope that someday I'll find someone who makes me as happy as you two make each other…"

~*~

"So, you're saying that you lost my luggage," Chandler sighed.

"Not exactly **lost**, sir. We know where it is, it's in Toronto."

Chandler sighed again, "Well then maybe you can tell me **why** me luggage is in Toronto when I'm clearly **not**."

"I'm sorry, this sort of thing happens all the time really. We'll have your luggage on the next plane here."

Chandler looked down at his watch, "Well it's almost what, 10 here? I'm not waiting here all night for it."

"Well then I'll just have someone bring it to you when it gets here," he said, picking up Chandler's sarcasm.

"That'd be great, thanks," Chandler replied, dryly.

"You can pick it up tomorrow morning."

"Yeah, thanks, that really helps me tonight," Chandler said sarcastically, turning away from him.

~*~

Monica smiled, unlocking her door. That night had been great, beyond great, actually. But she couldn't shake the fact that there was just something that wasn't right, that something was missing.

She just sighed, hanging her coat up on the hook before going to her room.

~*~

What do you mean **next** Friday?" Chandler asked through gritted teeth, his patience running thin.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Bing, but the apartment won't be ready until the 22nd."

"Which is next Friday…"

"That's correct."

Chandler sighed; someone really didn't want him there. This couldn't all be coincidence, something wanted him to go back. Something was telling him that this had all been a bad idea.

"You said the 15th over the phone."

"I'm sorry, but I don't know why I would've told you the 15th when the apartment wasn't going to be ready till the 22nd," the man snapped back.

"Well, that's too bad," Chandler turned to walk away, "Oh, all my stuff's gonna get here sometime in the next two days, you can just put it in storage."

The man sighed, "Wait. Do you have a place to stay?"

Chandler paused, he hadn't even thought of that. Of course, he could always…no he couldn't. He hadn't seen her in years. "Yeah, I'll find someplace," he turned back around. "I was serious about my stuff though."

"I can put it in storage for you until Friday."

"Thank you," Chandler smiled at him before walking outside, where it was now pouring. 

He knew where he could stay.

~*~

Monica walked out of her room, wearing her pajamas. She jumped slightly as the thunder crashed and a flash of lighting lit up the room.

She walked over to the window, watching the rain pounding down on the streets.

Rain.

It was so depressing; she hated rain. Grey and gloomy. She'd actually always hated storms. When she was little, she'd been scared to death of storms. Now, she wasn't really scared, she just didn't like it. 

~*~

Chandler stood outside the door. He could do this. He could knock.

All he had to do was knock…

~*~

Monica sat on the bench by the window, continuing to watch the storm and what now looked like hail.

Monica jumped again, but this time not because of the storm. She got up to answer the door, wondering who it could be and what they could possibly want at almost midnight.

She opened the door and gasped, the person on the other side being the one she'd least expected.

"Chandler."

To

Be

Continued…

Yeah, that was sooooo short, sorry bout that, and sorry if it was confusing at all…but I seriously know what I'm doing. Really. I do. Why are you looking at me like that, I really know what I'm doing!!! Ummm, sorry : ) please review


	2. Home

If You're Gone~part 2

Hey! Merci beaucoup for the reviews...and thanks for havin faith in me that I actually know what I'm doing and that I'm not just screwin' with ur heads…hehehe, I could so just be doing that. But I'm not. And I forgot to say that I don't own the characters, so…I don't own them. This part might still leave some things unanswered, but I'll get to whatever it is that's not. Kay? Kay : )

"Chandler," was all Monica could say. Of anyone in the world, he was one she'd least expected to have knocking on her door at midnight. 

"Um, surprise?" Chandler said quietly, trying to judge by the look on her face if she was happy to see him or mad. He was dying to break the tension formed by the silence, but, for once in his life, he couldn't think of anything to say. Nothing. Not even a joke.

Monica wasn't sure what to say, wasn't sure what to think. She hadn't even hear from him in three years, and here he was. Soaking wet and standing at her door at midnight.

And she had no idea what to say.

All that Chandler wanted to know was if she was happy to see him or not. She had every reason not to be. Every reason to be pissed at him and slam the door in his face. But from the look on her face, he couldn't tell.

After what seemed like an eternity, Monica finally answered his question in a way he hadn't expected. She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. "Where the hell have you been? I missed you so much," she whispered.

Chandler was completely taken by surprised by her hugging him, that'd been the reaction he'd least expected after he showed up at midnight after not even talking to anyone in three years. "I'm sorry," was all Chandler could finally manage to say, wrapping his arms around her and hugging her back.

"Daddy, I'm sleepy," a small voice said, causing them to pull apart.

"I know, Steph," Chandler picked the little girl up.

"Oh my god, Stephanie! The last time I saw you you were just a baby!" Monica said, looking at her.

"I'm three, I'm not a baby anymore," Stephanie stated and Chandler just laughed in response.

"No, you're not," Monica smiled. "Oh, hey, come in, you guys are soaked," Monica realized that they were still standing in the doorway. "Do you have someplace to stay tonight?"

Chandler sighed. He hated having to ask her for something, and almost felt guilty. Chandler finally just swallowed his pride and looked up at her, "Actually, no. Um, I rented an apartment and it was supposed to be ready today, but I went there and they said **next** Friday, so…"

"Well you're welcome to stay here."

"If you insist," he grinned at her.

"Only if you tell me why you're here," she grinned back, and then realized something, "and where Jen is."

"Um, that's kind of a long story, but I'll explain it," he smiled, shifting Stephanie, who was practically asleep, in his arms, "but I need to get her to bed."

"Go ahead, I'll be waiting," Monica motioned for him to go and put her to bed.

"Thanks," Chandler picked up his bag in his other hand and turned to go into what had formerly been Rachel's room.

"Judging by the size of that bag I'd guess you're not staying long," Monica more stated than asked.

"I had other bags, but they're in Toronto, so…"

"Did the airline lose them?"

"They're not lost, they're in Toronto," he rolled his eyes and Monica just laughed. 

"Go put her to bed."

Chandler obeyed, going into the bedroom and changing Steph out of her wet clothes and into pajamas before putting her to bed before changing his own clothes. He'd thought that she'd been asleep, but as he went to leave, she said something.

"Why are we staying here?"

"Because our apartment isn't going to be ready for a week."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Why?"

"Go to sleep, baby girl," Chandler laughed, kissing her, "Good-night, Steph, I love you."

"Night Daddy, love you."

"Hey," Chandler said softly, closing the door behind her but making sure to leave it open a crack.

"Hey," Monica answered as Chandler sat down next to her on the couch. A thousand questions were running through her head and she had absolutely no idea where to begin. She wanted to know why he was back in New York, where Jen was. And she wanted to know why he'd truthfully left in the first place. She knew that he could've just said the word and Jen would've agreed to stay there. But Chandler wanted to leave. That question could wait, though. There was too much space between them to start there.

"So are you gonna tell me why you show up all of a sudden after not even talking to any of us for three years, or…" Monica finally broke the silence.

"Yeah," Chandler sighed, "and I'm sorry that I haven't called or anything."

"So did you hear that Ross and Rachel are engaged?"

"Yeah, I got Ross's letter," was his only answer.

"Where's Jen?" Monica gave in and asked, dying to know the answer, "Why isn't she here?"

"She left," Chandler looked down, diverting his eyes from Monica's.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I-"

"She left over two years ago," he added, looking back up at Monica.

"Oh," Monica wasn't quite sure what to say to that, "Well, I'm still sorry."

Chandler shrugged, "It was over two years ago, I got over it."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"I don't know," he sighed again, "At first, I guess I just thought that she'd come back, ya know? How could she not come back? How could she not want to even see her daughter?" he looked at Monica, as if asking her for the answer, but didn't stop long enough for her to answer him. "And then she didn't come back. And more time went by, and…I don't know. I'd kind of lost touch with you guys by then so what was I supposed to do? Call you and be like 'Hey, what's up? Oh, by the way, did I mention that Jen left over a year ago? I didn't oh, well, she did,'" Chandler said, his sarcasm getting the better of him.

"So how old was Stephanie when she left?"

"Eight months old."

Monica just looked back at him, "So you've raised her by yourself?"

Chandler just nodded, looking out the window as another bolt of lightening flashed across the sky, the rumble of thunder soon following. "Two seconds till she's out here," he said, looking back at Monica.

Sure enough, as soon as he said that, Stephanie came running out and over to Chandler, crawling up into his lap and clinging to him at the sound of more thunder. "I'm scared."

"It's okay, baby girl," he whispered to her, kissing her hair and rubbing her back as she buried her face in his chest.

Monica just watched him, amazed, wondering if he was seriously the same man she'd known only a few years earlier. He couldn't be. That Chandler was scared to death of commitment, of real life. And this Chandler had been raising a little girl, alone, for the past three years. And there was just something different about him. Although he'd been a little uncomfortable when he first got there, he seemed more self-assured, much more confident.

He'd grown up.

He'd been forced to grow up and face reality, so he did just that. He grew up.

"So where's your apartment?"

"What?" Chandler, who had also been caught up in his thoughts, snapped back to reality.

"You said that you rented an apartment. Where?"

"Oh, um, just right across the street from here, actually." (not ugly naked guy's apartment, just in case u were thinkin that, just in that building…)

Monica smiled, "So you weren't planning on hiding from us or anything?"

Chandler laughed, "No, I just wasn't planning on showing up at midnight."

"So why did you come back?" Monica came back to her question that he'd kind of dodged earlier.

"Lots of reasons. I missed New York…I missed everyone…I missed you," he smiled at her, "I just needed to come home. Although earlier I was pretty sure that someone didn't want me to."

"What do you mean?"

"I almost missed my flight, then it was delayed, then they lost my luggage, my apartment wasn't ready, so…" he shrugged, "too many signs."

"And now?"

"I'm glad I came back, I didn't realize how much I missed you."

Monica just smiled, looking at the little girl now asleep on his lap. "She's cute."

"Yeah, I've always thought so, but then again, I'm a little biased, so," Chandler grinned.

"She looks like you."

Chandler shook his head, "No she doesn't; she looks just like Jen and it's killing me."

"You're right actually," she smiled at him, stifling a yawn.

"Hey, I'm gonna let you get to bed," Chandler said, seeing her yawn.

"Okay," Monica stood up, not going to argue.

"Good-night, Mon," he also stood up, and kissed her on the cheek.

"Night, Chandler."

"Um, Mon?" Chandler asked as she went over to her room.

"Yeah?" Monica turned back to face him.

"Why are you letting me stay here? I mean, I wouldn't have blamed you if you'd slammed the door in my face, I was an asshole! I didn't even call or anything!"

"Because at one point in time you were my best friend," Monica stated, "and maybe you had more important things to do than to call me," she motioned to the child in his arms. "Good-night, Chandler."

"Good-night," he quietly replied, watching her walk into her room, going into the other room a few seconds later.

~*~

"Wake up. Daddy, wake up," Steph shook Chandler. "Daddyyyyy."

"I'm awake, Steph," he mumbled.

"No you're not, your eyes are closed," she said, so he opened his eyes. "I'm hungry."

Chandler looked up at the clock and decided that since it was almost 9 they should probably get up anyway. "Okay," he said, getting out of bed. Stephanie held her arms out to him, so he picked her up. "What do you want to eat?" he asked as they walked out of the room.

"Morning," Monica said, looking up from what she was cooking.

"Morning," Chandler replied, setting Stephanie down. "Whatcha makin?"

"Pancakes."

"Do you have any juice?" Chandler asked and Monica nodded.

"Yeah, I think there's apple juice and orange juice."

"Want some juice, Steph?" Chandler asked and she just nodded, so he poured her a glass of apple juice.

"Can I watch TV?" Stephanie asked and Chandler looked at Monica, who nodded.

"Yeah, sure."

"So, what's up with you?" Chandler asked, sitting down at the table.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, we talked about me last night. What's up with you?"

Monica just shrugged, "Nothing really…Um, I guess I'm head chef now," she paused.

"And you and love?"

Monica laughed, "Now that's a short story."

"You seeing anybody?" Chandler asked and Monica shook her head.

"What about you?"

"If you thought your story was short it's nothing compared to mine," he looked over to where Stephanie was sitting on the couch, "Not that I'd even have time or anything."

"Want some pancakes?" Monica held out a plate of them.

"Sure," he took the plate from her and set it on the table. "Steph, want some pancakes?"

"Yeah!" she came running into the kitchen, but stopped when she heard the door open.

"Whatcha makin, Mon, it-" Rachel stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Chandler.

"Hi," he stood up.

"Chandler…" was all Rachel said, walking over to him, "Oh my god," she hugged him.

"Hey, Rach," he hugged her back, "Congratulations, I hear you're engaged."

"Thanks," she said as she pulled away. "What are you…why are you here?"

"Long story," he smiled at her, "I tell you later."

"And this must be Stephanie," she looked at the little girl sitting at the table.

"Hi," Steph smiled at her.

"Hi," she smiled back. "God, she's cute," Rachel looked back to Chandler, who just grinned.

"Hey, Rach, I got the-Chandler," Ross walked in and just looked at him in surprise.

"Good morning!" Joey walked in, in an unusually happy mood, "What's going on?" he asked, realizing that the room had been dead silent until he walked in." Chandler!" he looked at him and ran over to him, throwing his arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug.

"Hey, Joe," Chandler laughed.

"Where the hell have you been?" Joey asked.

Stephanie pulled on the back of Chandler shirt, so he turned around. "He said the 'h' word."

Chandler stifled a smile and turned back to Joey. "Sorry," Joey apologized. "So how long are you gonna be here? Where's Jen?"

Chandler just sighed; this is what he'd been dreading. "Look, I'll tell you guys everything later, I just-"

"Chandler!" Phoebe came in, running up to him, just as Joey had done, and hugging him.

"You guys hug a lot," Stephanie said and they all just laughed.

"Where have you been? Why are you back?" Phoebe asked and Chandler sighed once again.

"Okay," he gave in, deciding that he might as well tell them everything, "It's a long story, but here goes nothing," he sighed, sitting back down.

~*~

"Hey," Chandler gently tugged on Stephanie's ponytail, "it's time for you to go to bed."

"Daddyyy," she whined.

"Stephanieeee," he whined back and she just made a face at him.

"C'mon, baby girl."

"10 more minutes?"

"No, it's already past your bedtime."

"Please?"

"Why don't you just let her stay up for 10 more minutes?" Joey asked and Chandler just looked at him.

"Thanks, Joe," he said, then turned back to Stephanie, "Steph."

"Fine," she gave in, "Will you read me a story first?" 

"Yeah, I'll be in in a minute."

"Wow, you're good at that, Ben can stall forever," Ross said.

Chandler just smiled, "So can she, she's just really tired," he got up, going to read her a story.

"Chandler?" Rachel said, "Me and Ross-"

"Ross and I," Ross corrected her and Chandler just smiled; some things never change.

"Okay, Ross and I are gonna take off, so I guess we'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah," he smiled at her, "Bye."

"Bye."

"Bye." (Buy fries! LOL, okay, inside joke, you wouldn't get that…)

After Chandler came back out from reading Steph a story and telling her goodnight, every one but Monica was gone.

"Where'd everyone go?" Chandler asked, looking around.

"Home."

"Home," Chandler sighed, sitting down on the couch next to her, "Seattle just wasn't home…"

"Why not?"

Chandler shrugged, "It just wasn't," he said, then turned his attention to the TV, but wasn't really watching it. He was too busy thinking.

That day had gone a lot better than he'd expected it to. Truthfully, he'd expected his friends to be mad at him, not to greet him with a hug. Of course, it could just be that they were so shocked to see him and the next day they could all realize it and be mad at him.

But if that were the case, Monica would've probably realized it by now. But what if she had realized that she was mad at him and just didn't know what to say to him, or didn't want to be rude? What if she was really just trying to come up with a polite way to tell him to leave? What if-

Chandler's thoughts were interrupted by Monica leaning up against him.

And what if they were just so glad to see him that they didn't care that he hadn't so much as called in the past three years.

"So does New York still feel like home?" Monica asked, once again interrupting his thoughts.

Chandler just smiled, "It's starting to," he said, leaning down to kiss her on the forehead.

He was home.

To

Be

Continued…

Does it make sense now? I hope so….please review, I'll try and have the next part up as soon as I can : )


	3. Cry

IF You're Gone~part 3

Hey again! Okay, I'm gonna have every few chapters be a flash back until everything's explained, kay? Kay. Here we go…

~About 2 ½ years earlier….~

"C'mon," Chandler said impatiently, waiting for the elevator. He looked down at his watch before pushing the button again. He had to pick Stephanie up at 6 and it was already 10 till.

Just as he was about to give up on the elevator and take the stairs, the door finally opened. "Finally," he sighed under his breath as he stepped onto the empty elevator.

Chandler just smiled, realizing something. The most annoying thing in his life at the moment was an elevator. Not his job, he liked his new job. Not Seattle, he liked Seattle a lot more than he thought he would. And of course, there were Jen and Stephanie.

So his biggest concern at the moment was an elevator.

When the elevator doors opened, he took off, half running, determined not to be late picking her up from day care since it closed at 6.

"Hi, Mr. Bing," someone greeted him when he came in the door.

"Hi, Sarah," he smiled at the girl before looking up at the clock, "5:58," he grinned.

"Not bad," she laughed before leaving to go get Stephanie.

"Hey, Steph," he took the baby from her arms, "How was your day?" he asked, to which he got no response, "Same as always, then," he put her in her baby carrier before turning to leave, "Bye, Sarah."

"Bye, see you tomorrow."

"So, how 'bout we stop and get some pizza and surprise your mom?" Chandler asked, and she just gurgled. "And I'm gonna take that noise as a yes," he added walking into the pizza place down the street.

~*~

Chandler struggled to unlock the door while holding the baby carrier in one hand and a pizza in the other. He frowned, not even sure why the door was locked in the first place. When his keys dropped to the floor, he just laughed, not having a clue what to do.

"Need some help?" a voice came from behind him.

"Help would be good," he turned around.

"There you go," she unlocked the door for him and held out his keys for him to take, but he just looked at her. "Right, you can hold these," she handed to keys to Stephanie, who took them in fascination.

"Thanks, Julie," Chandler said as he walked into his apartment.

"No problem," she smiled at him before going back into her own apartment.

"Jen, I got pizza," Chandler yelled, setting it down on the table and getting Stephanie out of her carrier. "Jen?" he called again, but still got no response. "Where's your mom?" 

"Anananana."

Chandler just laughed, walking out of the kitchen and going down the hall toward their bedroom. "Jen?" When she wasn't there, he just shrugged; she must've had to work late.

He went back out to the living room and pressed the play button on the answering machine.

*beep* Hey, Chandler, um, this is Joey. I know we haven't talked for like…ever…but…I was just calling to say hi. Well, I guess I'll talk to you later, bye. *beep* Hey, Jen, this is Sandy Ferguson and I was just wondering if you were planning on showing up for work today because it's after 9 and you're still not here. And if you're not, then it's usually common courtesy to call. *beep*

Chandler stopped dead in his tracks. Jen hadn't gone to work? She'd left with Stephanie at 7…where would she have gone after she dropped her off? Maybe something horrible happened, like she was in an accident or something…

Chandler shook his head to clear his mind. He reached for the phone, but it wasn't on the hook, so he pushed the page button, following the beeping of the phone into the kitchen. As he reached for the phone, he saw something on the table he hadn't seen before. 

He picked up the piece of paper, figuring it said that she'd just gone to run some errands or something, never expecting to find what he found written in it.

__

Chandler~

I'm sorry. Truthfully, I never wanted any of this. Some little girls dream of someday having a family, being a mother…I was just never one of them. I didn't want that. Maybe I'm just selfish. I'll take all the love someone's willing to give me, but only on one condition.

No commitment.

I'm not scared of commitment, I just never wanted it. I never wanted to be tied to one person, one place. I guess I just never wanted any of the responsibility that comes with all of that.

So I'm sorry, Chandler. In case you didn't get it from all of that…I left. I'm gone. Please don't try to find me. Take care of Stephanie, she's lucky to have you.

Jennifer

Chandler sank down into a chair, trying to take in all that she'd said.

Gone.

She was gone. And she'd signed it Jennifer…as if that made it all the more real…more true.

Stephanie crying brought Chandler back to reality.

Reality.

She was gone.

If she was really gone forever, he didn't know. But if she was, the reality of that was that he was also left to raise a baby alone.

He held the baby close, gently rocking her, trying to get her to stop crying. "Shh, Steph, it's okay, everything's okay," he whispered, more trying to convince himself than to convince her. "Everything's gonna be alright."

But truth was he had no idea. And he wanted nothing more than to do exactly what she was doing at that moment.

Cry

To

Be

Continued…

I know that was really short again, sorry. Please review…thanks : )


	4. Shit Happens

If You're Gone~part 4

Yeah, I know, nice chapter title. But it fits. And I will eventually explain everything about Jen, just be patient : )

"Hey," Chandler said, opening the door to Monica's apartment, and Stephanie ran right into his legs. "Where are you going?"

"Joey has a chick and a duck!"

Chandler just laughed, "Is Joey going, too?"

"Yes, Joey's going too," Joey said, following her out the door.

"Then…whatever," he watched how excited she was over getting to see the birds. "Oh, to be three again," he sighed, closing the door.

"Did they finally get done?" Monica asked.

"Yeah," Chandler set the bag in his hands down on the couch, "even though it seems pretty pointless to move all the stuff into storage when I'm just gonna have to move it all up to my apartment on Friday," he sighed.

"Yeah, it kinda does. So what's that?" she motioned to the bag he'd brought in.

"Just some clothes and stuff," he shrugged, "and, of course," he paused, unzipping the bag and taking out a teddy bear, "Brrr."

"Brrr?"

"Yeah, Stephanie couldn't say 'bear,' it'd always come out 'brrr,' so that just kinda stuck. It wasn't supposed to get packed. She was pretty upset when she found out that she'd have to sleep without him for a couple of nights."

"Hey, I don't think it ever came up, but…do you have a job?"

"No. No job, no money. I'm actually seriously in debt to a bunch of bookies in Seattle, which was my real reason for moving back here. And I came to you because I knew you'd let me live here for free," he said with a straight face.

"Nice to know the sarcasm's still there," Monica laughed.

"Who's being sarcastic?"

Monica just shook her head, staring at him, waiting for him to crack.

Chandler finally smiled, "Okay, okay. Um, not to long after I moved out there, I got a new job, a lot more money, a lot less hours. And then I got a transfer back here, so," he shrugged, changing the subject. "So, have Ross and Rachel set a date for their wedding yet?"

"I don't think so," Monica answered. "I think we're all going out for dinner tonight if-"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Joey ran in, holding Stephanie, who was crying.

"What happened?" Chandler ran over to them and took Stephanie from him.

"She tripped and hit her head on the corner of the cabinet."

"Oh my god," Chandler said, seeing the size of the cut on her forehead and how badly it was bleeding. "Joey, go get me a washcloth or something to put on it." Joey immediately ran over to the bathroom and came back with a washcloth, which Chandler took, placing it over the cut on her head, which just made her cry harder. "I'm sorry, Steph," Chandler whispered to her, kissing her hair as he held her.

"Do you think it needs stitches?" Monica asked.

"Probably," Chandler replied, still trying to calm Stephanie down and trying not to panic.

Monica could sense that Chandler was starting to panic. She'd seen that look on his face before and knew that was what was about to happen. "Hey," she spoke softly, touching his arm, "It's gonna be okay. We just need to go to the hospital, okay?"

"Okay," Chandler nodded, taking a deep breath.

"You okay?" she asked, and he just nodded again. "Okay, then let's go."

~*~

Chandler sighed, sinking down onto the couch. Earlier, they had been in the waiting room at the hospital for hours before a doctor could get to them. Apparently, there were much bigger emergencies than a 3-year-old whose head was cut open, though having her screaming and crying the entire time should have been an incentive to make them want to get rid of her sooner. She had clutched onto Chandler the entire time, refusing to let Monica hold her or to be put down.

She ended up getting seven stitches, and seemed to calm down a little bit when she got to pick out a Blue's Clues Band-Aid. They went home after and neither Chandler nor Monica felt like going out to dinner after spending all day in a waiting room of a hospital.

Stephanie fell asleep on the way home, so Chandler had decided to just put her to bed, even though he knew that she'd wake up at the crack of dawn because of it.

"That's gonna stain," Monica said, causing Chandler to jump.

"What?"

"The blood on your shirt, it's gonna stain if you don't wash it right now."

Chandler looked down at his shirt and just shrugged, not really caring. After a few minutes, he realized that she was still looking at his shirt, and he just laughed. "Does it bother you that much?"

"No," Monica lied unconvincingly.

"Yes it does," he continued to laugh, thinking how Monica would never change.

"No it doesn't."

"So it wouldn't bug you to know that there's a stain on a shirt that could have been prevented. You'll be able to sleep tonight, knowing that there's a bloodstain, soaking into the fibers of a shirt, never going away. You can-"

"Stop! Fine, it bothers me," Monica admitted, causing Chandler to laugh even harder. "Is my misery that amusing to you?" Chandler just nodded, so Monica threw one of the pillows on the couch at him. "At least let **me** wash it," she added, causing Chandler to keep laughing.

"God, Mon, you're killing me," he said, still laughing, "But if it bugs you that much," he took his shirt off and threw it at her, trying to stop laughing.

"What's that?"

"What's what?" Chandler asked, confused by the sudden change of topic.

"That scar," she pointed to the scar on his stomach.

"Oh. I had my appendix taken out a few months ago."

"Oh," Monica said, all of a sudden wondering what else had happened to him in the past few years that she didn't know about. "Well, I'm gonna go wash this," Monica said, causing him to start laughing again, so Monica hit him with another pillow. "Stop, it's not that funny!" he continued to laugh. "Fine, I'll just leave," she walked out of the room, leaving Chandler to laugh by himself.

~*~

Chandler rolled over in bed, unable to get to sleep. The sound of sirens coming from outside didn't help, either. After a few minutes, he realized that the sirens were pretty constant and sounded like they were coming from right outside their building. Out of curiosity, he got out of bed to go see.

"Oh my god!" he rushed over to the window when he saw the flames coming from the building across the street and the fire trucks down below.

Monica came out of her room a few minutes later, "Is it just me, or are those sirens right outside?" she asked, but walking over to where Chandler was standing, she answered her own question. "Oh my god."

After a few minutes of silence, Chandler asked, "Can we stay with you awhile longer?"

"Why?"

"See the three floors that are on fire?" Chandler asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"See that window right there in the middle?" he pointed.

"Yeah…"

"That's my apartment.

"Oh," Monica looked up at him.

"Daddy, I can't sleep," Stephanie came out of their room.

"I know, baby girl. Come here," he said and she came over to him, holding her arms out to be picked up. He picked her up and kissed her forehead. "Does your head still hurt?"

"A little," she yawned, laying her head down against his chest.

Monica just watched them for a couple of minutes. Chandler was looking out the window as the firefighters were putting out the flames, gently rocking Steph back and forth. Monica could tell that he was worried. He hadn't been gone for so long that she'd forgotten what his looks meant.

"You can stay here as long as you want, you know," Monica broke the silence, "as long as you need to."

"Thanks," Chandler said, still staring out the window.

"Hey," she touched his arm, "You gonna be alright?"

"Yeah," Chandler looked at her and smiled.

"Then go back to bed," she smiled back.

"Okay," he turned from the window. "Night, Mon."

"Good-night."

~*~

"Hey," Monica said as she walked into her apartment after work the next day.

"Hey," Chandler replied from where he was sitting on the couch.

"So how was your first day of work here?" 

"Fine. It was work," he shrugged.

"Where do you take Steph?"

"There's a daycare center in my building for people who work there."

"Speaking of which, where is she?"

"At the park with Phoebe and Joey."

"So you're here all alone."

"Yeah," Chandler grinned, "It's nice isn't it? It's so quiet…don't get me wrong, I love Stephanie, she's my life, but…. it's quiet. It's kinda nice."

Monica just laughed, "It's open, you guys," she yelled, hearing a knock on the door. When no one answered, she went over to open the door. "Hey, I said it's…" she trailed off, seeing who it was. "Jen."

To

Be

Continued…

Dun, dun, dunnn, hehehe. Please review, thanks : )

~*~Dedicated in memory of Sam, with my prayers going out to Jessica~*~


	5. In an Instant

If You're Gone~part 5

It's summer!!!! YAY!!! Well, for me anywayz, I'm outta school. So…I dunno, I don't really have a point but it's SSSUUUMMMEEEERRRR!!!!!! Yeah, um, here's the next chapter…please read and review, thanks : )

~flashback, about 4 years earlier…~

Chandler hurried to get ready for his date. It was their three-month anniversary and he really liked her, so he was determined not to screw this up. Giving himself another quick glance in the mirror, he grabbed the bouquet of flowers he'd bought earlier and ran out the door. 

Chandler knocked on Jen's door, and a few seconds later she opened it and grinned at him. "Hey."

"Hey yourself," he smiled back, kissing her before giving her the flowers, "For you."

"Thank you, they're beautiful," she said, taking them before kissing him again, "I'm going to put these in some water and then we can go."

"Okay," he followed her into her apartment.

"So where are we going to eat?" Jen asked after putting the flowers in a vase.

"It's a surprise," Chandler grinned as they walked out the door.

~*~

"You've been awfully quiet tonight," Chandler finally said after sitting through an unbearably quiet dinner. "Are you okay?"

Jen shrugged, looking up at him. "Um, actually, there is something I need to tell you…"

"You have to tell me something like you hate Italian food so it's a bad thing that I brought you here, or you have to tell me something like you have a rare tropical disease which gives you only three months to live?"

Jen laughed, "Somewhere between the two, I think. It depends on how you take it," she paused.

"Well," he looked up at her.

"Chandler, I'm pregnant," she finally blurted out.

"I-I'm sorry, but it sounded like you just said, 'Chandler, I'm pregnant.'"

"I did," she whispered.

"Oh my god…are you sure?" he asked, taking all of his will for him not to run out of there screaming.

"Yeah, I took like 20 home pregnancy tests," she laughed uneasily.

"Oh my god," Chandler said again, completely in shock.

"You can be involved or not…whatever you want," she went on.

"Oh my god," Chandler repeated.

"Chandler?"

"I just…I need some time to think," he finally said.

"Okay. Um, you wanna get out of here, then?" Jen asked and Chandler just nodded, asking the waiter for their check.

Chandler took Jill home in a daze; not exactly sure of what was happening. Pregnant. How could she be pregnant? He was gonna be a dad. Oh, god, he was going to be a dad.

When Chandler got home, instead of going into his own apartment, he went into Monica's.

"Hey, Rach, did you," Monica stopped when she realized that it was Chandler and not Rachel. "What's wrong?" she asked, seeing the look on his face.

"Jen's pregnant," he said, walking over to the couch and sitting down, burying his head in his hands.

"Oh my god? Are you okay?"

"Do I look okay?" he looked up at her.

"Sorry. Well…what are you gonna do?"

"I don't know, she said I could be involved or not…that it's my decision," he paused, "And I don't know what to do! Monica, what do I do?"

Monica looked at him. If he wasn't in so much misery, she would've laughed at how pathetic he looked. But he was scared to death. "Honey, I don't know. I think you have to make this decision on your own."

Chandler sighed, that wasn't what he wanted to hear. He wanted Monica to tell him what it was that he was supposed to do, she was supposed to know. "But Mon, I'm so scared! I don't know what to do! And I'm just so…terrified!"

"Chandler," she said softly, and he took a deep breath, looking her in the eye, "Take how scared you are right now and times that by like, a thousand, and that's how scared Jen probably is right now."

Chandler slowly nodded, taking another deep breath, trying not to hyperventilate.

"Go home and go to bed, think about this in the morning," Monica finally said, and Chandler gladly agreed, getting up to leave.

"Night, Mon."

"Night," Monica replied, "And Chandler?" he turned back to face her, "It's gonna be okay."

"Yeah, I know," he smiled at her, "Thanks."

"Anytime."

~*~

Chandler picked up the phone, his heart pounding because of what he was about to do. He couldn't even actually believe that he was about to do it, either. He dialed her number and counted the number of rings. When it reached five, he almost gave up hope, knowing that after the next ring her answering machine would pick up.

"Hello?" she took him by surprise by answering just before the machine picked up.

"Hey, it's me."

"Hey."

"Look, I've been thinking, and-"

"Don't break my heart over the phone," Jen interrupted. "Just…if that's what you're gonna do, then just hang up, don't say it."

Chandler paused for a second, thinking about the easy out that she'd just given him. But after thinking about it, he knew that he wouldn't be able to do it. "That's actually not what I was going to say," he finally said, and Jen sighed in relief. "I was going to say that I thought about it, and…I wanna be a part of this kid's life. And I'll be there for you, whenever you want or need me, I'll be there."

Jen smiled to herself, that's what she had been hoping he'd say, and had been pretty sure that he would since he was a decent guy. Scared to death at the moment, but still a decent guy.

"I have a doctor's appointment Thursday at 3."

"I'll be there," Chandler smiled.

"Well, I gotta go, I'll see you later."

"Yeah, bye."

"Chandler?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"No problem."

~*~

"Stop fidgeting," Jen told Chandler as they were waiting for the doctor to come into the room.

"But I'm nervous."

"So am I, but you don't see me fidgeting."

"Well then fidget! I won't yell at you!"

"Chandler!"

"Sorry," he said, standing still for a couple minutes before starting to pace.

"Chandler."

"Sorry," he stopped again, this time just as the doctor came into the room.

"Hi, I'm Dr. McCaffrey," she introduced herself.

"Jennifer Nelson," Jen smiled back, "And that's Chandler Bing."

"Hi," Chandler smiled, trying to stand still.

The doctor started by talking to Jen and asking her a bunch of questions, but Chandler was too nervous to really hear any of it. As she started doing the sonogram, he was still fighting to pay attention until the doctor said, "And that's your baby."

All of a sudden, beneath how terrified he was, Chandler realized that he was happy. He was definitely 100 times more scared than he was happy, but he was still happy. Chandler leaned over and kissed Jen on the lips, smiling when he pulled away. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too," she mouthed, smiling back.

They were having a baby and he was happy. Scared, but happy.

~*~

(about 2 months later)

Chandler paced the kitchen, waiting for Jen to get there. He was nervous beyond belief. And it was after 6. And he'd told her 6. And the fact that she was late was just making him even more nervous.

"Sorry that I'm late," Jen said, walking through the door, "And I really need to tell you something and I know that you wanted to tell me something but I really want to go first."

"Okay…"

"I got this job offer in Seattle and it's the chance of a lifetime…**but**…if you want me to stay, I will. I won't take it."

"Take the job, I'll go with you."

"What?"

"Take the job, I'll move to Seattle with you."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, I love you," he smiled.

"I love you, too," Jen paused, "Wow, I was expecting this to be harder. Oh yeah, what did you want to tell me?"

"Well, it's not really what did I want to tell you as much as it's what did I want to ask you," he paused, getting a ring box out of his jeans pocket as he got down on one knee. "Will you marry me?"

to

be

continued…

I told you there'd be more about Jen! And I'll eventually explain why Chandler was so eager to go to Seattle, probably in the next chapter, which will be a continuation of the chapter before this…wow, this whole flashback and forth thing is complicated, lol. Oh yeah, and I was thinking about writing a chapter that would be a flashback of when Stephanie was born, but since that's not too important, I was wondering if anybody would want me to…so if you'd review and tell me if you want me to or not that'd be great! Thanks so much : )


	6. Break my Heart

If You're Gone~part 6

"Jen," Monica said, staring back at her.

"Um, hi," Jen answered.

"Jen?" Chandler stood up and came over to the door, "What are…why are you here?"

Jen looked from Monica to Chandler at the surprised looks on their faces. And not exactly a good kind of surprised look. So, she figured that Chandler had told Monica everything about her. "Well, um, I went to Seattle and you weren't there, so, I took a chance and figured that you went home," she shrugged.

"But **why**?" Chandler once again asked.

Jen took a deep breath, uncomfortably shifting her weight, "Well, I've been thinking a lot over the past couple of years, especially in the past few months, and…I just realized that I regretted ever leaving and that I really want to see Stephanie."

"What, just see her and then take off again," Chandler crossed his arms, "She's only 3, but don't you think that's old enough for her to wonder why if we said 'this is your mom' and then you just take off again?"

"I didn't mean it like that…I meant that I wasn't to be a part of her life. Permanently."

"So, what, you want like visitation or something?" he asked, more than willing to give that to her if she was really going to stay this time.

"Well, the thing is, I live in San Diego," she paused, watching the look on Chandler's face change as he realized what she was saying.

"No way in hell," Chandler stated.

"Look, Chandler, she's my daughter, too, and-"

"No. If you'd been raising her for the past three years you could say that, but you weren't even there!"

"I was scared," she said quietly in an attempt to defend herself.

"You don't think I was scared?"

There was a pause and the two just stared at each other. Monica looked back and forth between them, deciding that she should probably leave. "Maybe I should go," she moved to leave.

"No, you live here, you don't have to leave," Chandler said, not taking his eyes off of Jen.

"Daddy!" Stephanie came running in through the still open door and went straight over to Chandler to be picked up. "Guess what? Me and Joey were at the park and there was this really big doggie! And he lickeded my face but that's okay cause that's just doggie kisses, but then he knocked my ice cream on the ground and there was still some left but it was okay cause Joey and Phoebe bought me another one!" she rambled.

"Which is why you're now wound up," he said more to himself than anyone else.

Jen watched them, and when Chandler looked up from Stephanie, their eyes met. "Get out," was all that he said.

Jen threw her hands up in defeat, turning and walking out the door.

"Who's that?" Stephanie asked.

"Hey, so what was the dog's name?" Chandler changed the subject. He'd tell her about Jen eventually, but he needed some time to think about what he was going to say first.

"I don't know but if I had a big brown dog like him I'd name it Chocolate. Can I get a dog?" she bounced excitedly.

"So what else did you guys do at the park?" he once again tried to change the subject. He only half heard her answer, still not able to believe what had just happened with Jen.

And he had a feeling that it wasn't over.

~*~

"Hey," Chandler walked into Monica's, and for the time being, his apartment, with Stephanie in his arms.

"Hey. You're home early."

"Yeah, she has a fever," he motioned to Steph, going toward their room to put her to bed. 

"I don't go to work till (cécile-I can't say the words 'till' or 'until' anymore with out laughing and wondering why there's 2 different words, lol. See what u did to me??? And that was how long ago? lol) 6 if you want me to watch her so you can go back to work," Monica offered when he came back out.

"Thanks, but it's a good excuse for me not to go back to work," he smiled.

"Oh, yeah," Monica stood up and went over to the counter, "Someone left this here for you," she handed him an envelope.

"Thanks," he took it from her and opened it, pulling out a stack of papers. Monica watched his expression change as he read it. "Oh my god, that's bullshit!" he threw it down on the table.

"What?"

"Jen's suing me for custody of Stephanie!"

"Can she even do that?"

"Apparently!" he went over to the couch and sat down, burying his head in his hands.

Monica smiled at the irony of how at the moment he looked like he had when he'd first found out that Jen was pregnant, down to the way he was sitting on her couch. "Hey, it's gonna be okay," she sat down next to him.

Chandler looked up at her, "How do you know?"

Monica just looked back at him. He'd come to her with so many problems before, and she'd always told him that it'd be okay, and he'd never questioned it before. He'd always just smiled and agreed. 

But now he knew better.

"I guess…I don't," she finally admitted.

"No, you're right," he stood up. "Julie's brother's a lawyer and he lives here, and he's supposedly really good and I don't know how, but everything'll be alright." 

"Who's Julie?"

"She was my neighbor in Seattle, she used to watch Steph a lot for me," he paused, looking down at his watch, "And if I call her at work right now, I can get her brother's number and talk to him today, too," he reached for the phone. "Do you mind if I go in your room for some privacy?" Monica shook her head, so he took the phone and went into her room to make the calls.

"Where's my daddy?" Stephanie asked, coming out into the living room.

"He's in the other room making a couple phone calls. Do you need anything?"

"Can I have a drink? I'm thirsty," she crawled up onto the couch next to Monica.

"Yeah, of course," Monica got up and brought her a cup of water, "There you go."

"Thank you," she took the cup from Monica. "How do you and Daddy know each other?"

"Ross is my brother and your daddy was his roommate in college, so we met then."

"How long ago was that?"

"A long time ago."

"How long is a long time ago?"

"Before you were born."

"Before me?" Stephanie asked, unable to comprehend something happening before her.

"Yeah," Monica answered and Stephanie just shrugged, lying down against Monica.

Monica looked down at the little girl before brushing some hair out of her face, noticing that she was still hot from the fever. She just watched her; Chandler had really done a good job raising her. She was an incredibly cute kid, and not just looks-wise, though she really was that, too. She was very well behaved for being 3 and was very sweet.

And she was Chandler's life. How could Jen just come back after almost 3 years and take her away from him? She didn't understand how she could do that. Of course, she also couldn't understand how Jen could have ever left her daughter in the first place.

"Mike's gonna take care of everything and talk to Jen's lawyer and see what he can do and then we're gonna meet tomorrow," Chandler walked out of Monica's room.

"Well, that's good."

"Yeah. Is she asleep?" he motioned to Stephanie.

"I think so, why?"

"I think I'm gonna take her back to bed because I need to talk to you and I don't want her to wake up and hear it," he walked over and picked her up, careful not to wake her up, and took her to their bedroom.

He came back and sat down next to Monica, finally breaking down, "I can't lose her, Mon, I seriously can't. That kid's my life."

"Chan-"

"And what right does she have to come back and take her away from me? She left! No one asked her to, no one forced her to, she just left! For no other reason than that she was scared! Does she think that I wasn't scared? Hell, that was my reason for going to Seattle in the first place! Because I was scared, and when I'm scared, I run. She was running, so I ran with her. I know it sounds stupid now, but," he shrugged. "God! What gives her the right!"

"Chandler-"

"And **don't** say it's gonna be alright! Because you don't know that! There is every possibility in the world that my worst-case scenario could happen!"

"And what's your worst-case scenario?"

"Well, actually it's that there's a huge nuclear explosion that kills everyone on earth and then aliens take over our bodies, so that's kinda improbable," he said and Monica just laughed.

"And there's the Chandler I know and love," she laughed, "But seriously."

"Seriously," he sighed, "Seriously, that Jen gets custody, I get to see her for a month in the summer, a few holidays, but then all that only lasts to a certain age. Then she doesn't want to spend her vacation time at her dad's, she wants to spend it with her friends, so then I hardly ever get to see her, and I ultimately end up looking like **I** abandoned her, like **I'm** the one who ran out of her life."

"You know that's not true."

"No, I don't! And that's what scares me the most!" he yelled and Monica didn't say anything else. Not because she didn't want to, but because she knew he was right; she had no way of knowing that that couldn't happen.

~*~

"Chandler Bing, I presume?" Mike answered as Chandler knocked on his office door.

"Yes."

"Mike Angelo, nice to meet you," he stood up, holding his hand out to him.

"Is it actually Michael Angelo?" Chandler asked, not able to help himself.

"Yeah, parents with a sense of humor. It's either like the Ninja Turtle or the artist," he laughed. "But anyway, Julie's told me a lot about you, she seems to think quite highly of you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Oh, have a seat!" he said and Chandler sat down. "So I think we have a pretty good case against her from what I've heard. And Jen won't settle this outside of court, so they set up a court date for the 25," he looked down at the paper's he'd been sent. "Ummm, Jen's lawyer is requesting a paternity test and I'd recommend that you submit to it even if you think it's bullshit, or else you have a pretty good chance of losing custody of your daughter."

"Okay…"

"Okay, so getting down to business…" he started explaining legal things to Chandler and telling him what the judge would want to hear when they went to court.

~*~

"No way," Chandler said out loud as he read it, "No fucking way." He had to be reading something wrong. But as he read it over and over again, it said the exact same thing.

~*~

Chandler knocked on Jen's door, and as soon as she opened it, he pushed his way past her and into the hotel room that she was staying in. "Fucking bullshit!"

"What?" she asked, confused.

He threw a brown envelope down on the bed and she picked it up, opening it. "Oh my god," her face went pale as she read it.

"Is there something you would like to share with me?" he asked bitterly.

"Oh my god," she repeated. "I guess I always knew there was a possibility, but-"

"You **knew** there was a possibility?"

"Look, Chandler-"

"It says that I'm not her father! That it is biologically impossible for me to be her father!"

"Chandler-"

"Who the hell else were you sleeping with?"

"Just this one other guy, Zach, and when I found out that I was pregnant I told him that it was over, but didn't tell him that I was pregnant. I just chose you because we were more serious than I was with him, and I knew that you were more serious about us and that you'd probably take responsibility for it…and I guess I always knew that there was that possibility that she was his, but-"

"But what, Jen?"

"I'm sorry, Chandler!"

"You're sorry about what? That the only thing in my life I've been living for is a lie? That piece of paper says that I'm not her father! But goddamnit I am!"

"The court won't see it that way, especially since we were never married."

"I asked you to marry me, you said no! You said you weren't ready!" 

"I wasn't!"

"Maybe you were just thinking ahead. Choose the guy that'll take the kid, and don't marry him, then there'll be no strings attached so you can just leave."

"It wasn't like that, Chandler!"

"Then what was it like?" he yelled and she didn't answer. "I loved you! For some reason I fucking loved you and you broke my heart!"

"I loved you, too."

"No. If you loved me then you never would have lied to me and you never would have left me."

"I'm sorry, Chandler," Jen whispered.

"Well 'sorry' doesn't make that paper say Steph's mine," he hissed at her, turning to leave. "You broke my heart once. You take my daughter away from me and you break it all over again."

To

Be

Continued…

You're gonna have to excuse me about any legal stuff, in this chapter or any to come, cuz I'm only 15, so I don't know jack about any of that stuff : ) please review, thanks 


	7. Numb

If You're Gone~part 7

Hey! Thanks so much for all the great feedback and keep it up! I really appreciate it. Oh yeah, in response to a review, yeah, Monica did tell Chandler that Steph looked like him, but then Chandler said, no, she looks just like Jen and Monica agreed with him. I've been really careful about stuff like that cuz I've had this whole fic planned out for months, so that wasn't like a slip-up or anything. So newayz, here's the next part, enjoy : )

"You've been awfully quiet tonight, you okay?" Monica asked Chandler that night after everyone had left and Stephanie had gone to bed. Chandler just gave her a look telling her how stupid that question had been. "Yeah, stupid question, but you weren't like this yesterday, what's wrong?"

"Why would something be wrong?" he avoided eye contact.

"Chandler."

Chandler sighed, looking up at her, pausing before actually answering. "I'm not Stephanie's father," he finally said, barely above a whisper.

"What?"

"Jen's lawyer asked for a paternity test, and," he paused, "I'm not her biological father."

"Oh my god," was all Monica could say in response.

"And it's like the only thing right in my life is a lie! That kid's all I live for! And they want to tell me that I'm not her father!"

"Chandler, you are. No matter what some piece of paper of blood test says, you **are** her father. You're the only father that kid's ever known. Hell, you're the only **parent** that kid's ever known."

"Yeah, but I'm not so sure a judge would see it the same way."

"Chandler-"

"And you wanna know what really pisses me off about all this? Jen never told me! She never even told me that there was a possibility that she wasn't mine!"

"Would you have stayed if you knew?"

Chandler looked down, not about to lie, but ashamed of his answer. "No. Not if I'd known before she was born that she might not've been mine. I wouldn't have let myself get attached before I knew for sure," he looked back up at her. "But if I'd found out even the day after she was born, I would've stayed. Because I fell in love with her the second I held her in my arms."

Monica paused for a second before asking another question. "So would you really have rather never found out? Would you rather have kept living a lie?"

Chandler half-smiled at her, "Well, I am starting to believe that whoever said 'ignorance is bliss' really did know what the hell he was talking about."

~*~

Chandler sat at the kitchen table, once again reading trough everything from his lawyer. They were going to court the next day, and even though his lawyer had told him that he had very little chance of getting custody because he wasn't Stephanie's biological father, he refused to believe him and just give up. He wouldn't have been able to live with himself if he knew that he'd lost his daughter without a fight.

Monica walked in without Chandler even noticing her. He was just sitting there, staring at the stack of papers. She continued to watch him as he sat there deep in thought. He'd done nothing to deserve any of this. Absolutely nothing. And she hated seeing him in this much pain.

Walking up behind him, Monica wrapped her arms around him and gave him a hug, kissing the top of his head.

"I didn't even hear you come in," Chandler said, setting the paper he was reading down. "What was that for?"

"You looked like you needed a hug," she sat down next to him. "You okay?"

He shook his head, "No where close to okay. And, god, I'm just so scared!"

"Did you explain to Steph about Jen?"

"Yeah, kind of, but she had a bunch of questions I couldn't answer," he paused. "Tomorrow, Mon. We go to court tomorrow! What if I lose her?"

"You won't lose her," she reached across the table and took his hand, but he still avoided eye contact. "Chandler, look at me," she whispered and he looked up. "You can't believe that you're going to lose her. And don't for one second believe that you aren't her father. You are. You are an **amazing** father, and if some judge wants to tell you any differently, he'd have to be crazy. **Trust** me."

"I want to, Mon, believe me, I want to believe that **so** badly, but I can't. Cause there's always a 'what if,'" he paused, "What if," he said again, Monica knowing what came next.

What if he did lose her?

~*~

"All rise, the honorable Judge Jaquelin Memphis residing," the bailiff said as the judge entered the room and everyone obeyed. "Case number 516873, Jennifer Nelson v. Chandler Bing for custody of minor Stephanie Bing. You may be seated."

"Okay," the judge started, "From what I understand, Stephanie presently lives with Mr. Bing here in New York and Ms. Nelson lives in San Diego. Is that correct?"

"Yes, your honor," they both answered.

"Okay. Mr. Bing, how long has Stephanie been residing with you?"

"Since she was born," he answered.

"And did Ms. Nelson ever reside with you?"

"Yes."

"For how long?"

"Until Stephanie was eight months old."

"And what happened at that time?"

"She left."

"Ms. Nelson, under what circumstances did you leave?"

"I just wasn't ready to be a mother. I felt that I couldn't take care of a child, and I was too irresponsible, so I left."

"And what makes you think that you can now take responsibility for a child?"

"I've settled down a lot. Before, I'd move almost every six months, changing jobs and moving all over, just because I felt like it. And now I've been living in San Diego for almost two and a half years, and I've been at the same job the whole time."

"And you're at a permanent residence that would be suitable for a child?"

"Yes, your honor."

"And Mr. Bing, I understand that you aren't currently living at a permanent residence?"

"No, I'm not. But that's because there was a fire in my apartment building, so I'm living with a friend for the time being."

"How soon will you be able to move into your own apartment again?"

"I'm not sure."

"Okay."

"Your honor, may I point out that Mr. Bing is not the child's real father," Jen's lawyer said.

"Using the term 'real father' is questionable," Chandler's lawyer responded.

"Please rephrase," the judge looked at her lawyer.

"Alright, may I point out that Mr. Bing is not the child's biological father," he responded.

"I think that you just did."

"Can I say something?" Chandler asked, and the judge nodded. "I might not be her biological father, but I am her father in every way that counts. **I** was there when she was born. Her first word was 'dada' and it was directed at **me**, not some stranger you say is her father just because their DNA matches. I was there when she took her first step and I caught her when she fell. When she cries in the middle of the night, she cries for **me**-"

"Mr. Bing, are you going somewhere with this?"

"Sorry, your honor. I was just saying that I might not be her biological father and I may not be what he," he looked at Jen's lawyer, "considers her 'real' father, but I **am** her father in every other way. I am the only parent she has ever known. She hasn't even seen Jen since she was eight months old; she doesn't know her."

"When did you find out that you weren't her biological father?" the judge asked him.

"About a week ago. Jen's lawyer asked for a paternity test."

The judge looked from Jen to Chandler and then back again. "I would like to meet with the child, so the court will recess until 4 p.m. this afternoon, I'd rather not drag this case on longer than it needs to be, at which time I will read my decision," she hit her gavel and everyone stood up, leaving the courtroom.

"God, I can't do this," Chandler said, walking over to where his friends were standing with Stephanie.

"Sure, you can," Joey reassured him.

"But I can't," he sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Why? Why'd she have to come back? We were doing just fine on our own." When no one answered him, he just sighed once again, turning to walk away. Stephanie ran after him and pulled at this bottom of his suit jacket, so he picked her up.

"Don't be sad, Daddy," she said, giving him a kiss.

Chandler smiled, that giving him a little bit of hope. "Thanks, baby girl," he whispered back before kissing her on the tip of her nose. She just laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck as he took her to meet with the judge.

~*~

"I'd first like to say that it's clear to me that either way, the child would be in a good and loving home. Too many times it's the other way around and it's a lesser-of-two-evils type thing. I've met with the child, and it's clear that you've done a good job raising her, Mr. Bing."

"Thank you," Chandler quietly replied.

"However," she paused, "The courts don't like to take children away from their biological parents if it's at all possible to avoid. So, I award full custody of Stephanie Bing to Jennifer Nelson, with visitation to be decided at a later time. Custody will need to be turned over with in the next 24 hours. This case is adjourned."

Chandler felt for the chair behind him and sat down, afraid that if he stood for any longer he'd collapse. He felt numb, not wanting to believe what the judge had just said. It couldn't be true. But as he looked over at Jen, who was grinning and hugging her lawyer, he knew that it must be.

Chandler finally stood up and walked over to where his friends were sitting, Stephanie on Monica's lap. He took her from Monica without so much as a word and sat down on the bench, burying his face in her and holding her tightly. He sat, rocking back and forth, fighting tears, not wanting Jen to see him cry.

But as reality sank in, the tears came, and he cried.

~*~

After Chandler got Stephanie ready for bed, he lay down next to her on the bed. "Come here, Steph," he motioned for her and lifted her up, setting her down so that she was sitting on his stomach. "You know you're going to go live with your mom now, right?" he asked and she nodded.

"Yeah. But why?"

"I don't know, honey," he answered, not sure of how to explain to her an answer that he himself was not sure of. "And you're going to move to San Diego."

"Where's that?"

"On the other side of the country."

"Like Seattle?"

"Yeah, like Seattle."

"Are you gonna come, too?" she asked and he shook his head.

"No, I'm not," he whispered, "but I want you to know that it's **not** because I don't love you. I do love you and I always will," he tried not to cry.

"Do I still get to see you?"

"Yeah, just not everyday."

"Why not?"

"Because," he replied, "but you can call me whenever you want, even if it's in the middle of the night, okay?"

"Okay," she paused. "Aren't you gonna get lonely by yourself?"

"Yeah, I am," he whispered, "I love you, baby girl."

"I love you, Daddy," she whispered back, lying her head down against his chest.

Chandler kissed her on top of her head. Even after he knew for sure that she was asleep, he refused to let himself cry again. And he refused to let himself go to sleep. He didn't want to. He just wanted to stay awake all night, holing her in his arms and watching her sleep.

But he was dying inside. It felt like someone had literally torn his heart out and stomped on it, and then expected it to work after they put it back in. They had told him that he wasn't her father. That she wasn't his. And then they took her away from him. They just took away the only thing in his life that had ever gone right, the only thing he'd been living for.

He once again leaned down to kiss the top of her head, resting his lips against her hair. He squeezed his eyes shut, refusing to let the tears come.

They could take her away from him. They could tell him that he wasn't her father.

But no one could take away from the fact that her 'I love you, Daddy' had been directed toward him.

To

Be

Continued…

Four words: please don't kill me : )


	8. Hopelessly, Helplessly

If You're Gone~part 8

Chandler hadn't fallen asleep at all that night. He'd done exactly what he'd planned on doing. He stayed awake and just held Stephanie, watching her as she slept. For hours, just breathing in and out.

He finally decided that he'd better get up, knowing that they still needed to pack all of her stuff. He got up and walked out of their room.

"Hey," Monica said quietly, looking up from reading the paper at the kitchen table.

"Hey," Chandler mumbled back, sitting down next to her.

"You gonna be okay?" she asked and he shook his head. "I'm sorry."

"Not your fault," he forced a small smile at her.

"Hey," Joey walked in, for one of the few times in his life, without a smile.

"Hey," Monica and Chandler both replied as he sat down.

"I'll make breakfast," Monica said, standing up.

"Morning," Ross came in with Rachel a couple of minutes later. Just 'morning.' Not 'good morning.' And even though the word 'good' was usually understood when someone just said 'morning,' they all knew that he'd intentionally left it out. Because it wasn't a good morning. Not for Chandler at least. And seeing him that miserable was killing everyone else.

Phoebe walked in a moment later, with not so much as a word, joining the other five.

When Stephanie came out a few minutes later, she went straight over to Chandler and climbed onto his lap. Rachel watched, and after a few seconds, she walked out of the kitchen, going to sit down on the couch.

"You okay?" Ross asked, following her.

"Doesn't that just break your heart?" she whispered.

"Yeah," Ross whispered back. "But if that's how you feel, then just think of how much it's killing Chandler."

"I know, I am. And that's what's breaking my heart. What did he do to deserve this? It just seems so unfair!"

"Well life's unfair," he looked at her, "I love you."

"Those were two really weird sentences to say at the same time," Rachel laughed, and Ross just laughed, too, leaning in to kiss her.

They all ate breakfast in an unbearable silence, no one knowing the right thing to say. As soon as they were done, they all started helping them pack as much as they could.

"Do you want to pack her or hold on to her?" Chandler asked, holding out a doll.

"No," Stephanie said.

"No, what?"

"You hafta keep her so you don't get too lonely without me," Stephanie said and Chandler had to fight hard to swallow the knot in his throat.

"Thank you," he managed to whisper.

"You're welcome," she replied, continuing to put the rest of her stuff into her bag. Chandler just watched her. He couldn't do this. He couldn't let go. He couldn't say good-bye.

"What else do I gotta pack?"

"I think that's it Steph," he pulled her in for a hug.

How was he ever going to say good-bye?

~*~ 

"Bye, Steph," Joey hugged her. "And sorry about your head."

"It's okay," she replied, hugging him back, "bye."

"Bye, girlie," Phoebe hugged her next, "It's been fun."

"Bye," Rachel hugged her, "You're going to come back for our wedding, right?"

"Can I be flower girl?"

"Yeah, you can be flower girl," Ross laughed as he hugged her. "Bye, Steph."

"Bye."

"Well, I guess we'll see you guys later," Joey said as the four of them walked out the door.

"See-ya," Monica said and Chandler just nodded in acknowledgement.

"C'mere, kiddo," Monica said and Stephanie ran over to her, Monica picking her up. "It was fun having you live here with me," she hugged her.

"Yeah. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too, Steph," she said as someone knocked on the door. Monica put Stephanie down and just looked at Chandler before going to open the door.

"Hey," Jen said quietly, "Is she ready?"

"Yeah," Chandler said, "Can I have a minute?" Jen nodded. Chandler walked over to Stephanie and crouched down next to her, and she wrapped her arms around his neck in a tight hug. "I love you so much, Steph," he whispered, then pulled back. "You can call me here whenever you want, okay?" she nodded. "God, I'm gonna miss you," he hugged her again.

"I'm gonna miss you, too," she said and Chandler held back tears, determined not to let Jen see him cry again.

Chandler stood up with Steph in his arms, and walked over to the door. "Those are hers," he pointed to the bags by the door. "I love you, baby girl," he said once more.

"I love you, too, Daddy," she said as he handed her to Jen.

Chandler looked up at Jen, and she could see nothing but hatred in his eyes, and it scared her, she'd never seen that look in his eyes before, not even when he'd found out that Steph wasn't his. It was a look of pure, blind hatred. "I swear to God, Jen, I will **never** forgive you," he said slowly, speaking in a low voice.

Jen broke his stare by putting Stephanie down and picking up her bags. "We'd better get going."

"Bye, Steph," Chandler whispered.

"Bye Daddy," she replied, "Bye Monica."

"Bye," Monica whispered, watching Chandler fight tears.

"July," Jen said.

"July," Chandler repeated.

"And I'll call you when we get to San Diego tomorrow," she said, but he didn't respond. "Bye," she turned and left, Stephanie blowing Chandler a kiss, and he returned it before the door shut behind them.

And as soon as the door shut, Chandler let go of everything, falling hopelessly and helplessly to his knees as he cried. He was tired of being strong and Jen had just so crossed a line.

Monica walked over to him and hugged him, letting him bury his face in her stomach as he cried. And for once, she didn't try to tell him that it'd be okay. Instead, she said nothing, just holding him as he cried. She kissed the top of his head, and he finally lifted his head up, looking at her, and she saw the look in his eyes. He was miserable. Devastated. Heartbroken.

And she had no idea what to say to help him. He stood up, so Monica wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly for a second before he pulled back again. She wanted to comfort him, but had no idea what to do. So, she just stared back into his eyes, hating the look in them.

She finally broke the gaze, leaning in to kiss him on the lips. It was meant to be a short, soft, reassuring kiss, but it ended up not ending. Instead, Chandler kissed back hungrily.

Monica knew that it probably wasn't the best solution, but it worked for the time being. As Chandler started running his hands up and down her body, she decided to just let it happen. If this was what needed to happen, then she wasn't about to stand in the way.

As she pulled at the bottom of his shirt, Chandler got the message and helped her take it off, but then they immediately went back to kissing. Monica moved toward her bedroom, pulling him with her as he unbuttoned her shirt and pulled it off.

They continued to undress each other as they moved toward her bed. Chandler lay her down on the bed and got on top of her, but then stopped suddenly. Monica looked at him, confused.

"I'm sorry, Mon, I can't do this like this with you," he mumbled as he got off of her, rolling away so that his back was to her.

It took Monica a minute before she fully realized everything that had just happened. And the one thing that hadn't. She rolled over and wrapped her arms around Chandler, hugging him tightly. She could feel that he was crying again, feeling his sobs but not hearing them.

After awhile, it felt like his crying had almost stopped, and she realized that it was probably because he had gone to sleep. He hadn't slept much since Jen had come back, and hadn't slept at all the night before.

Monica kissed his back and then kept holding him, letting him cry himself to sleep, and soon, letting her own lack of sleep catch up with her as she fell asleep, her arms still around Chandler.

To

Be

Continued…

I'm not sure when I'll have the next part up by, I'm kinda having trouble with something in it and I've been pretty busy lately and I'm going to Kansas City next week to spend the week with my three bestest friends in the whole world! So I dunno if I'll have the next part up before I leave, but I'll try…or I could just keep you all in suspense…hmmmm…might depend on reviews, lol. Or it might just depend on if I have time to write : ) but please review, thanks so much!


	9. You fall and you crawl and you break and...

If You're Gone~part 9

Hey people!!!! I'm baa-ack!!! I actually did get this done before I left on vacation, but ff.net was down so I couldn't upload it. But I did have it done and it was posted at other sites : ) and right now I'm running on like 3 hours of sleep, so I'll shut up before I say anything incredibly stupid. So please read and review, thanks : )

Chandler woke up, blinking several times before realizing where he was. He was in Monica's room. And Monica was asleep in his arms. A very naked Monica.

He jumped slightly as someone pounded on the door, and he realized that was probably what had woken him up in the first place. Monica woke up when the pounding continued, clutching the sheet in front of her as she sat up. "What time is it?"

"2 a.m.," Chandler answered, looking at her clock. 

When the pounding continued, Chandler got out of bed, pulling on his boxers and then grabbing his t-shirt when he found it. "Jesus, I'm coming," he said as he pulled on his shirt and made his way over to the door. "Jen?"

"She won't stop crying for you and she's sick, she's been throwing up all night and she won't stop crying," Jen rambled, handing Stephanie to Chandler, who gladly took her.

"Who was it?" Monica asked, coming out of her room, now wearing pajamas. "Oh," she stopped when she saw Jen.

"She doesn't feel like she had a fever," Chandler felt her forehead. "What'd she have to eat tonight?"

"What?"

"Eat. Drink. What'd she have?"

"Um, we just had Burger King for dinner since we were in a hurry because I had to finish packing, and-"

"Don't explain yourself," Chandler cut her off, "Just what did she have?"

"A burger and fries."

"And did she have a pop to drink?"

"What?"

"Pop. Soda. Did she have soda to drink?" he explained slowly, as if talking to a small child.

"Yeah, why?"

"Because she's allergic to caffeine."

"I didn't know that," Jen said quietly.

"Well you wouldn't, would you," Chandler said bitterly, causing Jen to look away from him.

"I can't do it," she whispered.

"You can't do what?"

"I can't take her away from you," she looked back up at him. "She doesn't know me. She's been sick for one night and she wouldn't go to sleep and she wouldn't stop crying because she wanted her daddy. I can't do that to her," she paused. "And despite what you might think, I really did love you. And I can't stand being the one to make your face look like it did that day in court. I can't take being the reason for making you cry. I can't take being the cause of breaking your heart again." When Chandler still didn't say anything, she continued talking. "My office…they were transferring a bunch of people to Jersey…I could apply to get the transfer. Then I could still see Steph. Get to know her," Jen paused again.

"Are you serious?" Chandler asked, in shock.

"Yeah," Jen nodded, tears in her eyes. "And, um, I'll talk to my lawyer in the morning and have him get the adoption papers so that you'll be her father. Legally. Cause you are, you know. Her father, I mean, in every way that matters."

"Thank you," he managed to whisper.

"No problem," she whispered back. "Well, I'd better get going. I have a flight to San Diego in four hours. I brought all her stuff," she moved the bags from outside the door to inside. "I'll call you tomorrow, well, later today really, to work everything out," she said, still whispering, knowing that speaking any louder would make it hard not to cry. "Bye," she kissed the top of Stephanie's head. "Bye, Chandler," she added in a whisper before walking out the door, closing it slowly behind her.

Chandler just stared at the closed door, not sure that he wasn't still asleep. He looked down at Stephanie, who had stopped crying and was practically already asleep. "Wanna go to bed, baby girl?" he whispered into her hair as he kissed her, and she nodded slightly. "Mon, I'm going to put her to bed, and then…can we talk?" he asked and Monica nodded.

"Am I gonna stay here with you?" Stephanie asked as Chandler lay her down on the bed.

"Yeah," Chandler whispered, "Now go back to sleep, okay?"

"Okay," she yawned, laying her head down on a pillow, "Night, Daddy, love you."

"Night, love you, too," he whispered, gently kissing her before walking out of the room.

"Hey," Monica said as he walked out. 

"Hey," Chandler replied, looking first at his shirt lying on the floor, and then at Monica's, which was lying on the floor right outside her bedroom door. "Look, about earlier…I'm sorry." 

"You're sorry?"

"Yeah."

"About what?"

"About earlier. What almost happened. I mean, under any other circumstance, I wouldn't have stopped."

"So you're sorry that you almost didn't stop," Monica asked, slightly confused, "not sorry that you did stop?"

"Well, yeah," he said quietly, looking down.

"Chandler," Monica said softly, after a moment, causing him to look up. "Under any other circumstance…I wouldn't have wanted you to stop."

"Really?" he asked, surprised.

"Really," she smiled at him.

"I just…I didn't want **that** to happen between us because of **this**. I didn't want to do something that just felt right at the moment but that we'd regret in the morning. I didn't want just another notch on the bedpost, one more thing to regret."

"I wouldn't have regretted it in the morning," Monica whispered in a way that sent shivers up and down Chandler's spine, as Monica stood up and stepped toward him, touching his arms.

"Really? Cause…well, I…what is…are we…" Chandler chuckled uneasily, "God, there's no words to say it."

"Then don't speak," Monica whispered, placing her finger to his lips.

Chandler immediately shut up, relieved at not having to come up with something to say. Instead, he leaned in and kissed her, and this time it was soft and slow, the exact opposite of their urgent kisses earlier. But after a couple of minutes, the kiss deepened until they finally pulled away, breathless.

"I've been dying to do that since you showed up that night," Monica whispered, leaning her forehead against his.

Chandler pulled back so he could see her face. "Really?"

"Well, yeah," she admitted. "It killed me when you left. And I know it sounds stupid…but it felt like Jen stole you away from me, even though I know you were never mine like **that**. And then when you left…" she trailed off, "it just **killed** me."

"I'm so sorry," he said sincerely, "I had no idea."

"It's okay. I mean, how could you have known?"

"I'm still sorry for making you feel that way. And I would love to say that I wish I would have stayed…but there's a kid in the next room that was worth leaving for."

"I know, it's selfish."

"Yeah, kinda," Chandler laughed, kissing her. When he pulled away, Monica saw the look of doubt in his eyes. "I don't know if this is the best idea…"

"Why not?" Monica asked, knowing perfectly well what the answer would be.

"Stephanie. I mean, what if it doesn't work out? We already kind of live here. And I haven't dated much since Jen left…How do you explain all that to a three-year-old?" he paused. "It's just…I don't want her to get hurt. I know for a **fact**, from experience, that adult's relationships effect kids…I just don't want her to get hurt," he paused, adding in a whisper, "And truthfully, I don't wanna get hurt again."

Monica looked at him. She hadn't realized exactly how bad Jen had hurt him before. But she had been the first woman he'd fully given his heart to and she'd broken it. "I would never hurt you," she replied in a whisper, looking him directly in the eye.

"I know," he whispered back. "But…I'm still scared," he finally admitted. "I mean, I don't think I'm strong enough to handle having my heart broken again."

"You are one of the strongest people I know, Chandler. Even though you were scared to death, you stayed when you found out Jen was pregnant. You survived when **she** left. You've raised Steph on your own for the past three years and you've done a great job with her," Monica paused. "The past couple of weeks you've amazed me. You found out that the child you've always believed to be yours wasn't. And someone tried to take her from you. But even after your lawyer wanted to give up, you wouldn't," she paused again. "And you're worried about a little heartbreak? After all that, a broken heart's nothing."

Chandler smiled, "Thank you," he whispered before kissing her.

"So does that mean that-"

"And I thought **I** didn't know when to stop talking," he interrupted her and she just laughed. "Now, how 'bout finishing what we started earlier?"

"What about Stephanie?"

"Well, I'd really prefer to leave my daughter out of this part of it…"

"You know what I meant," she laughed, playfully hitting the back of his head.

"She'll sleep, she doesn't usually wake up during the night," he said, and when he kissed her again she wasn't about to argue. He picked her up and took her into her bedroom, laying her down on the bed. "You were right," he whispered as he kissed her.

"About what?" Monica asked, confused.

"You said that everything would be alright," he mumbled between kisses, "And it is."

"Well, when am I ever wrong?" she asked and Chandler just laughed.

"Daddy?" Stephanie walked in and Chandler rolled off of Monica, immediately glad that they both still had their clothes on. **That** conversation could wait for a few more years. "I don't feel good."

"I know, baby girl. Come here," he said and she came over to the bed, so he pulled her up next to him. Chandler smiled apologetically to Monica, really wanting to finish what they'd started earlier.

After awhile, he rolled back over so that he was facing Monica. "Sorry 'bout that," he whispered.

"It's okay, I think I'll live," she grinned, kissing him. "Is she asleep?"

"Yeah."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Why do you call her baby girl? I mean, is there a reason?"

Chandler laughed, "Yeah, there's a reason. When she was born, Jen and I couldn't agree on a name, and finally Jen said 'well we have to eventually agree, we can't just call her baby girl forever.' And I, of course, asked why not. So then she suggested the name Stephanie, and I said fine, you call her Stephanie and I'll call her baby girl. And…it stuck," he grinned. "Though I'm surprised she still lets me call her that. She insists that she's a big girl and hates when anybody implies that she's a baby."

Monica smiled. After a few minutes, she broke the silence that they'd both been enjoying. "So your worst fear didn't come true."

"Nope," Chandler said, and then, not able to help himself, added, "but there's still always a chance that there could be a nuclear explosion and then aliens take over our bodies.

Monica just laughed, "Well that'll give me some good dreams tonight."

"Don't worry, I'll save you if they're not. I'm pretty good at making bad dreams go away. And I can make the monsters in the closet go away, too, if you'd like," he smiled, playfully.

"No thanks, I'm good," she smiled back. "Good-night, Chandler.

"Night, Mon," he kissed her as she cuddled up to him.

Chandler just sighed with content. For the first time in a long time, he was happy. Perfectly content. He looked from Stephanie, who was lying at his side, clutching her 'brr,' to Monica, who was in his arms. He was glad that he could see both of them, touch both of them. He'd need that material proof in the morning to prove to himself that this night hadn't been a dream. And as he thought about all of it, he just grinned.

Now he was really home.

T~H~E 

E~N~D

Ah, happily-ever-after : ) Did you seriously think that I'd take Steph away from Chandler and make him stay that sad??? Do you not know me at all??? See, I did my part, I made him happy. So now you do your part and click the little box-thingie down there and tell me what you thought of it. Kay? Kay. Thanks.

( : Jamie : )


End file.
